MySpace, the final frontier

Once upon a time I blogged about the quirks of living in a small town. One of those quirks is that we basically have one homeless guy. His name is Larry. Local lore has it that Larry was once an aircraft mechanic before succumbing to paranoid delusions.

Now he spends his time commandeering shopping carts, binding them with spare parts––pipes, boards, whatever he can find. The resulting spray-painted creations look like ships, planes or the occasional helicopter. Once an aircraft mechanic, always…well, you know.

When his creations get so large that they impede traffic, the police impound them. Annoyed, but undeterred, Larry starts all over again.

Larry is so well-known that when the temperature drops to freezing, the local newspaper usually runs a “Larry is okay” editorial reminder. Locals worry. I have to admit, I do to. But the downtown merchants association buys Larry a new sleeping bag, Sorels and a snowmobile suit each Christmas. And when it drops below zero an anonymous donor pays for a motel room.

One time Larry found a perfectly good toaster lying in an alley. Did he use it to stay warm? No, he used it to make toast––plugging it into an exterior outlet behind my old office. I’d drive to work and see Larry sitting on the curb, toaster plugged in with an enormous orange extension cord, buttering his breakfast.

Another time I saw Larry in a local steakhouse. He was sitting alone, eating two ice-cream cones, one in each hand. Maybe he’s not so crazy after all.

So why the homage to Larry? Well, because Larry has a MySpace page.

I don’t think he put it up himself. In fact, I know he didn’t. Local teens did it on a lark––as a way for people to “get to know Larry.” It must be working because Larry now has 724 friends. Altruism or exploitation? Yes!

I have mixed feelings about MySpace. Sure, the social connectedness is interesting. But please––let’s not kid ourselves. MySpace is like a Denny’s after the bars have closed. Not everyone is a drunken idiot, but there are just enough staggering around to ruin your Grand Slam Breakfast.

But what’s a writer to do? Do I have a MySpace page? (Yes, I do. I’m not a total Luddite). And in a few months I’ll pimp it out. Once I get cover art, I’ll doll it up. In the meantime, send me an add request. And by the way, Larry says “hey.”

Comments

[Carleen]

Just how small is your town?! If only Denver had only one Larry. Here, the poor souls are all over the place!

[david]

Larry is still doing OK -- he's mostly hanging out on 10th Avenue South between 30th and 44th Streets.

[Dave]

There's never a time when I go into town, that I don't expect to see Larry, somewhere.
I'm glad that Larry is here, because I don't think that any other community would look out for him like we do here in Great Falls.

[Eric]

James,

For a second I thought Larry's need to periodically start over on building his carts was going to be a metaphor for chucking a current writing project and starting anew...

[jamie]

Hmmm...very well could be. Freudian, perhaps.

I did chuck a recent project about 40 page in. I switched gears. More of an evolution than a revolution, theme-wise. I'm now 55 pages into an entirely different story. I think this one's a keeper.

It's 9:30am, and I've already written my 1,500 words for the day!

[Lisa]

You have a myspace account? Me too! Although I have yet to meet Larry. Maybe I'll check the back of my MySpace space ... or my FaceBook page. Someone needs to set him up with Facebook. Now that would be interesting...

[David I]

Wow, for a minute there I thought we were getting your treatment for a possible novel.

There was a homeless woman who hung out near the Varsity Theatre in Honolulu. My girlfriend had some long chats with her, One day, the woman told her that there were only three things in life that were really important: "Architecture, education, and hiding your things."

Now there's a political platform in the making.

[K Miles]

Hello JF! I found your blog via greaterfalls.com. The entire time I worked with you I had no clue you also wrote fiction! Very impressive to me, as I'm still working toward my Ph.D. in Literature. I've stayed in GF for now due to the low cost of living. Hope you and everyone at your "day job" are doing well! Gimme a shout!

[PS]

So...do you know if Larry has benefitted at all from the Myspace page about him? With that many "friends," I'd like to think he actually benefits.

And it's nice to know that the town looks out for him.

As for Myspace...I've gone so far as to join Facebook...by Myspace still scares me. Good luck with that!

[Aprilynne Pike]

Hehe, I love the story about Larry. I went to high school in an even smaller town than GF and it's a good thing Larry wasn't there either. I suspect they might have run him out of time . . . I also suspect there were too many under 0 degree nights for hotel room donations.:)

[jamie]

Carleen--the population of GF is around 50,000, if you count all the cows and sheep.

David--"Architecture, education, and hiding your things." That's right up there with, "sleep with your shoes on so no one steals them..." Good stuff!

Karen--Hey, I didn't know if you were gonna stick out or head back to Dallas. Shoot me an email!

PS--I'll have to join Facebook. Does it have as much funky spam as MySpace??

[Janna Lee]

Hey Jamie found your page via Greaterfalls.com... I love the fact that you wrote this story! When I was somewhat new to Great Falls and had no clue who Larry was I saw him and thought I wonder if he is lonely, I went to the resteraunt (I think it was Mcducks back then) at Gibson bought a full meal and
coffee and gave it to him...he was pretty quiet but he was nice when he did speak, I too hope the teens running that site actually make something of it...Put it to good use and help Larry out.

[PS]

Facebook puts discreet little ads on profiles, but I haven't been hit by crazy spam. And one thing I like about Facebook is that you can control how much access other facebookers have to your info and profile.

One warning--there are tons of applications available (movie-related, music-related, gift-related, pirate-, vampire-, etc. etc.) It can get really overwhelming. Not 3 am at Denny's...more like weekend brunch at Denny's.

[Lisa]

ACtually FaceBook has a ton of cool applications and neato stuff.

You HAVE to get a FaceBook account. Let me know when it's set up and I'll send yoou some of the more interesting apps (I promise they will all be at least PG 13).

:)

[jamie]

Okay Lisa--I joined Facebook. A MUCH nicer interface than MySpace. A few other friends had raved about it, so I finally signed up...

[PS]

Cool. Perhaps you too can be sucked into the vortex that is Scrabulous (Facebook's Scrabble). :)

[ADW]

Actually, I am pretty sure that Larry pays for his hotel room by himself. I don't think it is only rumor that he used to be an airplane mechanic. He has told me that himself.

I used to wait on Larry at a local hardware store. He was always coming in to buy parts for his cart. He always paid in cash.

Larry is a retired vet and receives his retirement. He has the resources to take care of himself. Unfortunately, he is not mentally stable refuses to take his medication.

[Jamie]

Thanks for the scoop. I'd heard that he was on disability of some kind. The anonymous donor info came from the Trib, but maybe they had it wrong. Either way, I'm glad he's sleeping indoors.

That's pretty wild about him coming in and buying things to pimp out his cart. I wondered where all that stuff came from!