"I love the FedEx guy because he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it.” – Mitch Hedberg

Behold, the FedEx shirtIt’s FedEx Monday around here. I’m waiting for a five-pound bundle of joy to be delivered to my doorstep in the form of the “almost-final” manuscript of HOTEL. A few more persnickety tweaks and we should be good to go.

Yes, the manuscript comes back from Random House in hard-copy form. Not emailed. Not sent via text to my cell phone. Not wired to an Amazon Kindle. We’re talking analog, baby. Paper and pencil. And somehow it just feels better–-more tangible, I guess.

Plus, my cloistered writing life gets to be broken up by the occasional doorbell. I keep thinking I should rent a brown UPS uniform and wear it when the FedEx guy arrives. I could just open the door, grab the box and say, “Thanks, I’ll take it from here!” You know, just to keep it interesting.

My book (group) report

Whew, that was fun. I have to admit that it’s amazingly cool to meet with a group of 20+ women that love reading books as much as I love writing ‘em. (And Lois, if you’re reading this, thanks again for inviting me!)

My first foray into the world of book groups went better than expected. I knew they’d be a great group, my only worry was not having a book to hand them. But it was all good. They mainly wanted to know about the path to being published, the process of writing, about research, that kind of thing—all good questions.

And to my delight, they loved the premise of the book and are anxiously awaiting its release. (Is it 2009 yet?) I did chase away the butterflies and read a few chapters and everyone laughed when I hoped they would laugh and sighed when those moments came as well.

An hour later I left pumped-up and ready to write, which is a good thing indeed.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends

Today, I’m speaking at my first book club––a room filled with 20 enthusiastic readers, who I’m told are looking forward to reading HOTEL. There’s just one problem. My release date isn’t until next year. I tried to explain that little detail when they called, but no one seemed to care. So, as strange as it sounds, I’ll be reading a few chapters, doing some Q&A and hopefully not boring anyone into a coma.

I really have no idea what to expect. Will they be so lively that my reading gets lost in the blending of margaritas? Will it be a pre-release center, with every reader wearing an ankle monitor? Who knows? I’ll give you the full report tomorrow.

Speaking of book groups, one of the reasons I signed with Ballantine/Random House was because of their Reader’s Circle––their online registry and incredible support of book clubs nationwide. Not only do they provide discussion guides, but they also arrange conference calls between clubs and authors.

So I'm hoping today will at least be good practice for next year.

Today's oxymoron: Smart TV shows

Before licensed PS2 and Xbox games, we had this.  You rolled dice.  Moved things.Do you remember MENSA? I had forgotten all about that funky and somewhat famous high-IQ society. I first learned about them in high school, when Playboy released their infamous Women of MENSA issue—but that’s another story.

Turns out, like AMWAY, they’re still around. In fact, MENSA chairman Jim Werdell just released a list of their “Ten Smartest TV Shows of All-Time.”

My first thought was, pleeeeeeze let M*A*S*H be on there and not some sleep-inducing PBS production of I Claudius. Sure enough, it’s on the list. MENSA—you do indeed have a beating heart! But then the list gets a little weird. Maybe more for what’s not on the list. Take a look.

1. M*A*S*H –– I loved this show. I still want to be Hawkeye Pierce when I grow up. The finale is the highest rated show of all time.
   
2. Cosmos –– Knew there’d be some PBS love in there somewhere. Say it with me, “Biiillleeeons and biiillleeeons…”
3. CSI –– What, no Quincy?
4. House –– Never watched it. Probably because I know I’ll love it.
5. The West Wing –– See House. I did watch it. I did love it. Gave it up in the great television purge of '06 to spend more time writing.  
6. Boston Legal –– Sorry. I know William Shatner won an Emmy for Best Supporting Toupee, but I couldn’t quite go there.
7. All in the Family –– Slightly before my time and for some reason that feels quite tragic. The spin-offs never quite did it for me.
   
8. Frasier –– Favorite line, “Your glockenspiel has sprung to life!”
9. Mad About You –– This is a head-scratcher. I loved Paul Reiser in Diner. Loved him in Aliens. Didn’t quite get into this one.
10. Jeopardy! –– Isn’t that a lot like saying the dictionary is the “Smartest Book of All Time?” Maybe it’s just me.

What's your Top-10 list of Smartest Shows? What about dumbest shows?